The Ornament Exchange

Every year, my office has an ornament exchange at Christmas.  Everyone who chooses to participate puts their name in a hat and we all draw one - kind of like a Secret Santa for ornaments.  We post a little paper with everyone’s interests/themes for their trees, so we know we will be getting our person something they really like(for example, by my name it says “red, green, silver, sparkly, Santa, goth stuff).  I, however, am cursed.  Here’s what has happened so far:

Year One:  The practice owner’s wife, who pretty much hates me, got my name.  She tossed me my ornament, which she clearly bought at Walgreen’s on her way to work.  It was a sky blue plastic ornament with a snowman on it.  I hate snowmen.  I think they’re stupid.

Year Two:  I got forgotten.

Year Three:  I got forgotten.

Year Four:  I got forgotten, but my person did give me an ornament extremely late (on Christmas Eve - not much time to hang on the tree).  However, it was ugly as shit.  I don’t even remember much about it.  I think it was pastels.  I know it had nothing to do with anything listed by my name.

Year Five:  I was not forgotten, but my ornament was late again.  My name was drawn by a friend, actually, and she’s a sweet kid, but she does not have her life together.  In fairness though, it was a cool ornament.  She had a picture of my dog with Santa made into a ceramic ornament.  So, we’ll go ahead and file this one in the “Win” section.

Today:   Late again. All week, my employees have been exchanging and opening their ornaments to find really cool, thoughtful ornaments.  I had a bag on my desk this morning.  I excitedly tore the tissue paper away to find…. a pencil and a coffee mug.  That’s going to be difficult to hang on the tree.  Also, I don’t drink coffee.

I am laughing my ass off even as I type this.  Like, the first two years, I was kind of bummed out, but now it’s become a joke between me and the owner’s daughter.  Every year I say I’m not going to participate because I get screwed, and every year I cave and do it because it’s fun and I love Christmas.  But this year takes the cake.  I stuck the damn pencil in the tree.