Starfleet: we’re glad you’re home. We’ve been reviewing your records.
Janeway: ‘k when is my promotion?
Starfleet: what makes you think you’re getting a promotion?
Janeway: my future self told me all about it when she broke the Temporal Prime Directive and brought me stolen future technology.
Starfleet: yeah, so in that vein there, are some things we need to discuss.
Janeway: if there’s a problem with the paperwork blame Chakotay. I don’t do forms, I do holographic Irish bartenders and former Borg drones.
Starfleet:
Doctor: i can assure you that while in the delta quadrant we conducted ourselves with grace and dignity according to the highest principles of Starfleet.
B'Elanna: yeah step off our balls, you weren’t there you don’t know.
Tom: yeah, you weren’t there that time we stole a keg of omega molecules from some douchebag aliens who were going to blow up the quadrant.
Harry: or that time we played space NASCAR and ended up in the center of a terrorist plot.
Tom: or that time we were all super horny and built a fake Irish city so that we could get drunk and laid.
Harry: or when we tied that guy to a chair and waited for the aliens to eat him because he wouldn’t tell us what we wanted to know.
Tom: oh shit, remember that time i got 30 days for ignoring the wishes of some foreign government and destroying their mining operation?
Harry: that was almost as crazy as the time you restored that old shuttle but then it fell in love with you and tried to kill B’Elanna.
B’Elanna: speaking of which, remember when that bomb I made for the Maquis came back and tried to kill us.
Chakotay: that reminds me of when Seska stole my DNA and tried to impregnate herself with my child.
Tom: nothing will ever compare to the time me and the captain had kids and left them on that planet.
Janeway: we were young and innocent then.
Tom: how many lizard years to a human year? I feel like I should send a birthday card
Janeway: like 6.
Tom: you don’t even know you’re just saying that.
Janeway: you should talk, you’re such an absent father.
Tom: oh no you didn’t.
Janeway: I didn’t even want kids.
Starfleet:
Starfleet: is there a reason you stenciled PARTY BUS on the side of voyager?
Tom:
Harry:
B’Elanna:
Doctor:
Janeway: is there a reason i shouldn’t have?
