Anonymous asked:
Hey, friend.
Not knowing your personal history or experiences, the advice I would give you is just going to be very generalized - and as a disclaimer, please keep in mind that any advice I give is just from a friend to a friend and not a substitute for medical treatment, etc.
So, in my personal experience and research, the thing to keep in mind about good sex is that it really down to openness and honesty. There’s a common misconception that sexual intimacy must involve penetration. Clearly as I have used the word misconception, I feel that is untrue. Don’t get me wrong, sex with penetration can be wonderful, but so can many other things. And sex between two women can certainly involve penetration, but it doesn’t have to - and yes, you can still consider non-penatrative acts “sex.”
First and foremost, you need to understand YOUR body and what makes YOU feel good. Sex, whether within a long term exclusive relationship or just a fling, is an act of partnership. It’s about having an experience you will both enjoy and THAT starts with you, and knowing what makes you feel good and what your personal boundaries are. Don’t be shy about expressing what you like and what are firm “nos” for you. Despite popular belief, it’s not rude to ask someone to stop doing something - a simple “easy with my neck” or “ooof, that was a little too rough for me” when someone pinches your nipple can and should be expressed. A good partner will usually pick up on non-verbal cues before it even gets to that point, but that’s not always the case.
Which brings me to my second point - pay attention to your partner. Listen to their breathing, watch their body language, and always, always ask them how something feels/if they like it/ etc. Open and honest communication is the sexiest thing there is.
As for sex between two women, it just depends on what you are both into. Oral sex, mutual masturbation, grinding/scissoring, and penetration with fingers or toys are all options (just to name a few). I would say take some time with your partner to explore what you like. Take things slow and don’t be afraid to pull back if you wander into something that makes either of you uncomfortable. And ALWAYS use protection!
Sounds like you have already found resources for how to have sex safely, so I’m not sure if you are asking for resources about technique or anatomy or something else. Feel free to PM me (no judgement here) or send another anon any time if that makes you feel more at ease.
Hope this is helpful to you! Remember, be safe and communicate clearly!
