I’d like to give some free advice to any guys that might be reading this.
If you’re going to trawl the selfie tag looking for women you find hot to message, take a moment to get an idea about who they are before you contact them.
You know what would be way more effective than some remark about our physical appearance? Almost anything. Acknowledge our humanity and personhood, that we have value beyond what we look like.
“Hey, I saw that meme you made about [fandom/common interest] and it really made me laugh!”
“That drawing you posted had such great use of color!”
“I was reading about [topic that you have posted about] and I thought what you had to say was really interesting - would love to hear more of your thoughts on the subject!”
Like, come on, guys. Try harder. I’m not saying physical attraction isn’t important when you’re trying to meet someone, but by sending these messages out of the blue, all we’re hearing is that you’re shallow and don’t think of us as individuals that are worth getting to know.
When a complete stranger messages me with a “has anyone ever told you [insert generic compliment],” the last thing I want to do is engage in any kind of dialogue. I don’t like having to be a bitch, but when you get inundated with these kinds of messages every time you share a selfie, it gets frustrating. And creepy.
Just stop.
