Why is mpreg among the most scorned of fan fiction tropes? It shouldn’t be. Seems kind of gynophobic and transphobic to me, and we should probably write more of it. Anyway, hope you like it.
“I don’t know why everyone thinks I’m the other father of Garak’s baby,” said Julian, frowning into his springwine.
Jadzia and Miles exchanged glances.
“You are awfully invested in his care,” Miles ventured.
“Miles, I’m his doctor. Of course I’m invested in his care. I care about all my patients.”
“We know you do, Julian.” Jadzia placed a reassuring hand on Julian’s arm. “But you don’t insist on meeting your other patients for lunch every day to make sure they’re eating properly.”
“Well, it’s a very complicated pregnancy.”
“And you didn’t sleep on our sofa three nights out of four when Keiko and Kira were pregnant with Yoshi.”
“Miles, he’s all alone and he’s my friend…”
“And you’re the only one Garak will allow to touch his bump,” said Jadzia. “I asked and he said no, and Morn’s lucky he still has his hand.”
“Well, again, I’m his doctor, and Morn should know better than to touch anyone without asking first. Especially Garak.”
“Julian,” said Miles, “I saw you talking to Garak’s belly outside the shop yesterday.”
Julian blushed. “I was saying goodbye to Garak.”
Miles snorted. “You bloody were not, unless you’ve started talking to him in baby talk.”
“Well, it’s good for them to hear different voices. It develops their brains.”
“Okay. You’re the doctor.” Miles popped a sand pea into his mouth. “I’m just saying that you seem more excited about this pregnancy than Garak is.”
“No, he’s excited too! And he’s my friend, of course I’m excited.”
Miles frowned. “Julian, don’t take this the wrong way, but you weren’t nearly this excited about Yoshi.” Miles held up a hand. “And that’s fine! You were a good friend and doctor and we didn’t expect you to be!”
“It’s just,” Jadzia paused, “Julian, I don’t know what Garak said to you, but are you hoping…is there any chance at all this could be your baby?”
Julian gaped.
“I just mean, you and Garak had a thing for a while. We wondered if you’d rekindled it recently, and that maybe there was a small possibility…or that you were holding out hope…maybe subconsciously?” Jadzia, uncharacteristically, was at a loss for words.
“Julian, the reason everyone thinks you’re the other father is because you’re acting like you’re the other father,” Miles interjected.
“Yes,” said Jadzia, throwing a grateful look at Miles. “we were just concerned.”
Julian stood up, shocked. “Thank you, Jadzia, Miles. You’ve…given me something to think about. I’ve got to go meet Garak now.” He turned to go, then turned back. “But it’s definitely not my baby. I can tell you that for certain.”
“Ohhhhhhh! She’s Bajoran! Well, half. Soooooo she really isn’t your baby.” Rom peeped into the blanket that shielded the sleeping newborn’s tiny half-Cardassian eyes from the bright station lighting.
“That’s what I kept telling people,” said Julian. He knew he should be annoyed, but he was just too delighted to care. The baby was perfect in every way, and just to be in her presence gave him an immense sense of peace.
“I-i-it doesn’t matter. She’s adorable,” said Rom. A goofy grin spread over his face. “And she smells so good. I remember when Nog was this small.”
“So who’s the father?” said Quark. “I know, I know, Garak’s the father. Who’s the Bajoran who knocked him up?”
“Brother!” Rom was horrified. “That’s inappropriate! You can’t say things like that in front of her!”
“Yes, Quark,” said Julian, his voice full of ice. He would have stood up angrily too, if not for the baby. “That is inappropriate. And I wouldn’t tell you even if I knew.”
“Yo-o-ou don’t know who the father is?” Rom scratched his head and looked impressed. “Hew-mons are so open-minded.”
“Well, it’s really none of my business, is it?” said Julian, readjusting the blanket so the baby would be more comfortable.
“I guess not. Bu-u-ut I don’t think most Ferengi would be this happy about their partner having a baby with a stranger.”
Julian didn’t even come close to dropping the baby, but a lesser man might have. “Rom. Garak is not my partner. We haven’t been together in a long time. He’s just a good friend who’s raising a child alone. I’m sure you can understand how I’d want to be there for him.”
“Ohhhhh, I’m sorry, Doctor!” Rom’s eyes widened. “I shouuuldn’t have assumed. It’s just…you’re out alone with Garak’s baby.”
“And?”
“She-e-e’s two days old. When Nog was a newborn the only person we’d let take him anywhere was Moogie.”
“They wouldn’t even let me take him for a walk,” said Quark. “As If I’d sell my only nephew!”
“It’s just, I-I-I’d have thought Garak would be…more protective. He must really trust you.”
“Well, he needed some rest. He said it was fine if I took her on the Promenade…”
“E-e-exactly. He won’t even let you tell us her name. Do you think he’d let anyone else take her out of his sight?”
“No. I…guess not.”
The baby began to fuss. Julian rocked her a little, but it was no use. Soon she was wailing at the top of her lungs.
“Shhhhh, shhhhh. Are you hungry, sweetheart? Let’s take you home to Yadik.” He gathered the tiny baby and her many things and left the bar.
“Brother, do-o-o you think Doctor Bashir has some Bajoran blood?”
“I don’t know, Rom. Why do you ask?”
“Because…if that’s not his baby, I’ll bite my left ear.”
“There‘s no need for vulgarity,” Quark scolded. “But I’ll bite mine too.”
