The War - Damar X Reader
A/N: For the eternally wonderful @idontgiveahux , I sincerely hope you enjoy this, lovely! You’ve sent me on a small Damar obsession, until writing this I never payed much mind to him, now however.. :P You lot, as always, I hope you enjoy it too! Hugs! :) x
The age old question; war, what is it good for? Plenty of points in history gave the same answer. Absolutely nothing. War was brutal, war brought horror, war was truly good for nothing. It brought nothing but destruction of innocent lives, tears to mother’s eyes, heartbreak on a mass scale. This war was no different than any other.
Damar was the closest person to you, and had been for a while. You had met each other two years before the war fully broke out, and there was a spark between you that eventually developed into one of the closest relationships anyone could have. In Damar, you had found comfort and a home. In you, the Cardassian had found a safe space and comfort. Over time, you had slowly fallen in love, though neither of you willing to admit it to the other.
Which is why the two of you sat together at a table, drinks in hand, neither one particularly talking to the other. You both knew what the war entailed, and it was worsening by the day. Damar led the resistance, despite your protests and pleas; it was always going to be this way. You knew he was headstrong and capable, there was every chance he would come out of the war alive. But nothing was guaranteed. Tapping the rim of your glass anxiously, you were halted by his hand pulling your fingers from it.
“You’ll break it.” His voice was low, hand not removing from yours as you looked to him and found him smiling. Damar’s smile was rare, but each time it appeared your heart warmed. He was hardly in the mood for humour, but he knew you were sad, and did everything he could to change that. This was always what he did, the worst thing for Damar was seeing you upset, and even in such times as you found yourselves in, his joking tone didn’t go amiss. This time, it wouldn’t work.
“Do you have to go?” you asked, knowing it was rhetoric. Damar did indeed have to go, you both knew it. You, however, did not want to accept it. You heard him sigh.
“Y/N,” he began, but the look you gave him stopped him. Your eyes were watery, slightly reddened. Damar blinked a couple of times, before looking down.
“I know, it’s just that.. I’ll miss you” your voice low, he looked back up to give you a sympathetic smile. “I just want you to stay, Damar.”
He always liked the way you said his name, and memories flashed through his mind in rapid succession of all the times you’d shared together, every time he had heard you say it. Damar never believed he was a man that would fall in love, a man that would worry over such things, and yet here he was. It was not the time for such thoughts or feelings. The last thing he wanted to do was tell you he loved you before heading off to a place he might not ever come back from; he could never break your heart like that. Sullenly, he replied.
“I have to-”
“Fight, yes, I understand. Well, no I don’t, but I know you do and I just- well I-” You cut yourself off with a frustrated groan. You had both nothing and everything to say. Quiet befell you both before Damar spoke up.
“Nothing in war is certain, Y/N.”
“Reassuring, thanks.” Your tone was dry now, and your eyes returned to your glass. Silence fell once more and you sat quietly for a few minutes, neither really knowing what to say. That wasn’t entirely true, though. You had the means to tell him how much he meant to you, how much you loved him, but you couldn’t. Damar was the same. He had everything to tell you, feelings that had been building up since he met you, and yet, he stayed quiet. You both did.
“Damar?”
Taken aback by your shy, almost whispering voice, he looked to you with concern, turning his body so he was angled toward you.
“Y/N?”
“It’s nothing.” You backed out, shaking your head at him. Now was not the opportune moment, not when he was in a battle driven mind-set. You couldn’t do that to him.
“Talk to me, what is it?” His voice full of worry, he placed a hand on your knee, encouraging you to speak.
“I-um, I don’t really know how to begin, but I, um-” You shrugged and left your sentence hanging, and he chuckled slightly, somehow deriving humour from the situation. This you did not find funny. “And you’re laughing at?”
“You. Spit it out, Y/N.”
“Oh yes, because it’s so easy to spit it out that you’ll have to sit here and watch the man you love walk to his possible death and-”
Your eyes widened as you realised you’d said too much, and whilst a small part of you prayed he hadn’t picked up on it, the look on his face said it all. He had. Damar’s eyes widened, too, and you laughed airily yourself; there was no point in backtracking.
“Turns out it is quite easy to spit out, huh.” Your tone was dry, and Damar’s reply was anything but humorous.
“Y/N, I don’t quite know how to respond,” Damar began, knowing those weren’t the right words but failing to have anything else to say in the moment. You eyes were filled once again with tears, and a few spilled down your cheeks. He raised a hand to wipe them away, leaving said hand cupping your face.
“I get it, I wouldn’t have expected anything else.”
“It’s not that, it’s-”
“Then what is it?” You half shouted, not wanting an excuse; you would have much preferred the truth from him. Sighing, he took his hand away and sat back.
“I do feel the same for you, Y/N, I do. I just wouldn’t want to give you such hope that I might return when there is equal chance I will not. Perhaps once I return we could, you would allow me to court you, but as of-”
“I get it, you should go. There’s a war you need to fight.” Your tone was sullen, and Damar could tell you were sad. No amount of humour was going to cheer you up now. Damar felt his heart break at your words, and he stood, knowing any other attempt at conversation was useless.
“Goodbye, Y/N, I’ll truly miss you.”
Sniffling, you glanced up at him and took in his face one last time. The two of you gave each other small smiles and he wiped a stray tear from your cheek again. You grabbed his hand before he had time to move it and wrapped your fingers in his. Damar looked down at you with unspoken love.
“And I you. Come back to me.”
Then, he was gone.
Fuckkkkkk meeeeeee. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
