Ill Met By Moonlight — This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise...

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
deep-space-69
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This is Captain Kirk of the USS Enterprise speaking. We’ve entered the orbit of a planet not terribly unlike our own… save that it is exclusively populated by petty old queens.

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They seem to have accepted Commander Spock as one of their own.

plant-dad-sulu

You can say Vulcan