37 jokes reductress would reject if i submitted them but instead i’m just posting them on tumblr
- I’m Not Just The Hot, Young, Conniving Ice Queen Who’s Going To Marry Your Dad And Ship You Brats Off To Boarding School — I Also Have Hemorrhoids
- I’m Sick Of The Patriarchy Telling Me To Downplay My Accomplishments, Such As Getting Away With The Murder Of Natalee Holloway
- Feminist Icon? Terrible Mom Ensures Daughter’s Future Therapy Sessions Will All Pass the Bechdel Test
- Aww! Woman’s Parents Fled Hardships Of Communism Just So She Could Experience Hardships Of Capitalism
- Couple’s Venmo Transaction History Paints Pretty Vivid Picture of Whose Idea It Was To Open Their Relationship
- Bitch Who Had TWO American Girl Dolls Wants To Lecture You About Class Consciousness Now
- Report: Gaslighting And Lying Just Kind Of The Same Thing, According To Lauren
- 5 Guys To Date In Your 20s Even Though They’re Not Gerri From Succession
- Quiz: Is This Emotional Labor Or Just Listening To Your Friend Talk About Her Problems For Once?
- Wow! Friend’s Entire Poly Relationship Drama Could Be Solved With Chore Chart
- I Hope This Email Finds You Before The Owner Of This Remote Island Does, Because He’s Hunting You For Sport
- 5 Fights To Have With Your Boyfriend That Are Just The ‘Whitecaps’ Episode Of The Sopranos
- I Online Stalked My Ex’s New Girlfriend And Get This: She Used To Be Mormon???
- Weird Quirks You Didn’t Know Were ADHD Symptoms That Are Just Having Enormous Bazonkers And A Dump Truck Ass
- Goals! Woman’s Entire Understanding Of Stock Market Comes From Neopets
- Haley Posting A Whole Lot About God’s Grace For Someone Who Gave You A ‘Backup Invitation’ To Her Pool Party In Sixth Grade
- 6 Movies To Watch Even Though Kathryn Hahn Isn’t Even In Any Of Them, So What The Fuck
- Quiz: Is This A Serious Feminist Issue Or A Personal Problem You’ve Projected On Your Parasocial Relationship With An A-List Celebrity?
- How To Settle Down With Jeff Even Though You Lack The Sizzling Chemistry Of Robert De Niro And Al Pacino In ‘Heat’
- 4 Theories About Kim On ‘Better Call Saul’ That Will Make Your Coworkers Say “Yeah, I’ve Been Meaning To Check That Show Out”
- Report: Emily Identifying As Empath Now, Which, Not To Be Rude, But Emily?!
- Quiz: Is That Movie A Feminist Masterpiece, Or Does It Just Have A Woman In It?
- Inspiring! Jenna’s Handshake So Fucking Firm, No One Can Tell She Grew Up Without A Father
- How To Pretend You Never Hated Anne Hathaway Now That Everyone Likes Her Again
- Activism Win! Kevin’s Intersectional Feminism Definitely Not Just An Excuse To Call This One White Women A Cunt
- All 5 Women On Bumble BFF Still Looking For The Abbi To Their Ilana, So Good Luck
- 4 Things Your History Teacher Definitely Told You That You Didn’t Retain Because You Were Writing Horny Draco/Harry Fanfic In Your Notebook
- ‘There’s No Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism’ Says Woman About To Blow $77 On Polyester Tops From Fashion Nova
- Fuck! Tamogatchi Definitely Dead By Now
- Quotes From Gone Girl’s ‘Cool Girl’ Monologue To Take Out Of Context When Some Bitch Rubs You The Wrong Way
- 4 Inspiring Female Politicians To Call ‘Neoliberal Shills’ As Soon As You’re Totally Clear On What That Means
- Huh! 100% of Lindsey’s Sexual Fantasies Attributable To The Alan Cumming Character In ‘Spy Kids’
- Aww! Teacher Lonely Enough To Consider Confiding In Neurotic Third Grader Whose Parents Are Also Going Through Tough Divorce
- Woman Who Just Mainlined 500-Comment Meltdown In Facebook Group Thinks ‘Gifted Kid Burnout’ Is The Reason She Hasn’t Read A Book In Years
- Does She Believe In An Antisemitic Conspiracy Theory About A Sex Trafficking Ring Of Satan-Worshiping Elites, Or Is She Just Kinda Quirky?!
- 31-Year-Old Woman Who Claims You ‘Can Pry Her Skinny Jeans From Her Cold, Dead Hands’ Claps Back At Gen Z By Becoming Lobbyist For Fossil Fuel Industry
- Group Text Puts Aside Feminism To Really Just Go The Fuck In On Crystal
