I wish people would stop treat all conflict ever as perpetrator vs. victim when 70% of the time its just... conflicting traits and thats literally it.
For example, I have misophonia (sensitivity to noise) and if you were to lock me in a room with someone who vocally stims there would be conflict between us. I could say nothing and just get overwhelmed, they could stop and holding themselves back they could get overwhelmed. There's not a person more deserving of accommodation, there's literally no point arguing over who is actually ableist and in the wrong here we are both literally just existing in a space but have traits that conflict.
It sucks, we both feel like shit but not every hurt or problem needs blame put on it, sure that might be easier for you mentally but it halts self reflection and makes you very annoying to deal with.
Conflicting needs are just a fact of life
