Anonymous asked:

If you post about your rape kinks, they are not private kinks. You literally posted them for the world to see and subjected other people to your glorification of rape.

dingdongyouarewrong answered:

i agree that anyone posting about this stuff should probably do so in tagged spaces. i could get into the fact that many women who have these kinks are survivors themselves, that these are very very very common kinks, but i’ve posted these studies tons of times now and it hasn’t really made a dent in the amount of people sending stuff like this. so let’s cast that aside for a moment.

alright. my post was about the culture of stalking trans women; y'all keep sending me asks specifically about women, so let’s just only focus on women for a second. you want to help women and you see a woman with a kink you don’t like- that you think is bad for her and immoral. what are you doing to do about it? how are you going to stop her from being kinky? you could harass her, i guess, but that’s 1) only enacting further abuse on the person you see as being victimized by her own kinks, and 2) very unlikely to get anyone to stop being turned on by anything; it could at best make someone stop publicly posting about it and at worst just create a pseudo-religious culture of deep sexual shame, but you’re probably not going to be able to stop someone from having consensual sex in a way you don’t like through harassment alone. are you gonna advocate for making those practices illegal? how do you want that to be enforced?

you gonna call the cops on her? you gonna try to control the sex lives of consenting adults through the institution of the police? because there’s a pretty extensive history there and it might not be the history you like, nor might it open up doors you’re completely happy with. are we gonna encourage people to regularly track down and dig through the non-linked NSFW blogs of anyone they follow to make sure they’re not posting about anything you find distasteful? practically speaking, the only things you can really do about someone having a kink you don’t like are either not going to work or are going to be 1) ineffective, 2) abusing the very people you claim to want to protect, or 3) both. which then raises the question, what kind of world do you want to live in? would you rather live in a world where some people have kinks you think are immoral, and practice those kinks with consenting partners, or would you rather live in a world where people are regularly abused and stalked on the basis that they might be doing a thoughtcrime? i mean, it’s a trick question, because harassing people for their kinks is very unlikely to stop them from being kinky and is just pointless abuse, but even if we accept that it might work, i would much rather just live in a world with less abuse in it.