me: hi microwave! can you please heat up these 12 pizza rolls for us?
microwave: sure. or I could heat up 9 of them to varying temperature levels and leave the rest as-is, if you want
me: no thanks! just all of them to a nice hot yummy temp thanks!
microwave: ok so 2 raw, 5 warm enough to eat, 3 still frozen and 2 hotter than the heart of a volcano with their guts bursting out like that tauntaun thing han solo cut open in star wars
me: please, I just want some hot food
microwave: I am here for you. 6 dried out rock hard pizza rolls, 3 that are somehow colder than when you put them in, 2 vaguely pizza-roll-shaped lumps of charcoal, and A PLANCK TEMPERATURE CLUSTER OF PEPPERONI-SCENTED PLASMA THAT INSTANTLY IGNITES THE VERY AIR IN YOUR KITCHEN VAPORIZES THE ENTIRE BUILDING MELTS EVERYTHING IN A 10 MILE RADIUS INTO GLASS BEFORE ACHIEVING STELLAR FUSION AND GIVING BIRTH TO A SECOND SUN THAT SWALLOWS OUR ENTIRE SOLAR SYSTEM, COMING! RIGHT!! UPPPPPPP!!!









